Time feels peacefully mellow here at New Life. So far, there's no rush or hurry to anything; I can go slow + go at my own pace.
So basically, I just want to write now in order to focus on my goals in this life. And so far, I am happy that it feels like New Life is a place that supports myself, and I can imagine healing and growing here.
I keep having things that I want to say, and then going and sitting down and open my notebook, and then I completely blank!!
But basically, this just feels like such a great place to grow and rest and think about what it is exactly that I want in my life. This is my chance to shine, to be open with myself and, if I choose to with others- Always live honestly but share only when & if I feel ready to. And learning to live with complete openness and awareness, and compassion and love. And ADVENTURE! Not doing only restful activities- balancing that out with adventure-seeking opportunities. I want to make sure that I am all of me, and don't pretend to just be one factor of myself. I love meditation, yoga, being silent and calm and deeply looking in, AND I love being crazy, weird, and adventurous… Jumping off of cliffs, swimming in the ocean, Most likely hang gliding… Being loud and enjoying my life to its fullest extent. And I think that that's why, so far, I feel that New Life is one of the best places to grow, nurture, and feel the meaning of life; but once I feel like I am finished and ready to move on, it will be beneficial to me to leave New Life and pursue and follow my goals. But this is a great place to get quiet within and find out exactly what those goals and aspirations are. As well as learning how to keep this practice indefinitely with me. It's a starting point and an amazing opportunity to grow and be myself - get out those negative feelings: fear, self doubt, uncertainty, insecurity… And learn to transform them into something useful and amazingly beneficial.
I will continue to do things not based on other people's opinions and expectations, but rather for my own enjoyment. I will not live my life for/as other people. My opinions are mine, and I will not change my ways of living based on some other person(s)'s expectations. I decide what goes into my life. I decide who I am surrounded with. I decide my travels and where I am from now on. I am me, and there's no other person I'd possibly want to be. I live my life according to my own thinking and actions. I am the change that I want to see; I will not stoop lower to anyone else's thoughts or current beliefs; that would be doing myself the worst possible disservice. I will learn to constantly be at balance and not let negativity affect me. I am learning and slowly continuing being myself, and I am powerful in the best way ever. I love myself, the roads that I take, and the courage to commit to opportunities, even when they scare me. I will learn to let go of fear and live in the present all the time, even if and when I might plan for the future. I will center my balance in this present moment, and I am being the positive light that I hope to see. I am crazy, I am funky, I am personable - these are all qualities that make me thrive and that add up to ME! I am also tranquil, innerly curious, and deeply connecting to the root of all things. Within these past 2-4 years, I have continued being filled with self-doubt and anxiety, as well, and I want to understand these things, learn (maybe even respect them?), grow, and let those harmful emotions pass me. I will pass by worry, lovingly; I will fill it up and up and fuller with love until it turns into love and compassion. I will do the same with other negative feelings; not to do them harm or get rid of them, but to turn them into respectable feelings that help me grow and create.
I am going to follow some words of wisdom I read to figure out something in my thoughts:
I think I will be here for around 2-4 weeks. :) :)